We have another (better) dare for the Colbert:
If you are so insistent on running in South Carolina, you must prove your political and fashion prowess. If Hillary is wearing the pants, shouldn't you wear the skirt? Wear a skirt in skirt! and reach every American, near and far. Because everyone reads skirt!, and everyone wants to see you in (a) skirt!.
You won't be the only one, but you could be the best one (unless Superman came along...).
Come live out your mantasy and get into a skirt, we'll even provide the bongos.